Needed: Child Development/ Children's Play Book Recommendations

Does anyone have any favorite books on the subject? I want to know more about what activities/play I should be doing with Luke right now and in the future. He seems to be wanting to learn more and more each day and I want to keep it interesting. I am kind of looking for either something comprehensive, or something that gives me particular ideas.

Still Trying to Figure Out What to Do With Myself

Luke will be eight months old in a day.

For the first three months of his life, I tried to cope with my new occupation. I tried to get enough sleep. I tried to keep my sanity. I tried to not do anything that might cause Luke permanent damage.

Three to six months- I slept better and developed some hobbies. I joined mom's groups. I cleaned out my closets and got rid of stuff. Still, I was mostly busy with Luke.

Six months to the present- Luke takes great naps (I hope that I don't jinx the nap situation by saying that!). I now have three hours of free time each day. I am feeling lost and overwhelmed by the idea of having free time and not knowing what to do with it. Truly, I want a job. I want to make money again, but there is not much available given the constraints that I have.

I have never been good with free time. The last time my life was this slow-paced was my senior spring semester at Biola. I had 6 units and a very part time job. I would wait anxiously for Nathan to come home each day to rescue me from my loneliness (not his job). I actually got pretty depressed.

Finally, I began working at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf for about 16 hours a week. I loved it. I could be creative. I could help people and get to know my customers. I could listen to my co-workers and be a part of their lives.

I am looking for something to do now (when I am not doing the important "mommy-ing") that is both creative and purposeful. Also, it needs to be something that I WANT to do. Something a little different from the mommy/housekeeper position that takes up most of my day. I have tried many things so far- crocheting (I need to work much longer on that before I am any good), cooking (good, but I there are only two of us to eat it), reading (this helps a bit, right now I am reading the oh-so-insightful "Pilgrims Regress"), and a bit of writing.

Anyways, I'll trudge onward. It feels weird to be trying to figure out my interests again.

Need Help- Car Seat Recommendations

Luke is very quickly outgrowing his infant car seat (I have 1 and 1/2 lbs left in this one!), so I need to find a new one that he can grow into. I have heard that Britax and Sunshine Kids car seats are the best. My problem is that they are $250-300, which seems like a lot!

Maybe I need a reality check and I just need to fork over the money, but I was wondering if there were any other options. I have looked at countless Graco, Safety 1st, and Evenflo car seats, which are $60-110, but they have such mixed reviews. Some people love them, some hate them. Some people say that they are very safe, others not so much.

My bottom line: I want a safe car seat that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. If that is not possible, I will buy the expensive one.

Any ideas?

Transition

Or perhaps I should call this post "Why I should be careful when reading parenting books"

I am a bit obsessed with sleeping right now. This is partially due to the fact that Luke is now waking up 3-4 times a night, and due to my reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. The premise of the book is that you can get your child to sleep through the night, or sleep better at least, if they are not developmentally ready, without crying-it-out. I read most of the book while Luke was bouncing in his jumper the other day. We are doing a couple of things that she says not to do, and are also practicing some positive sleep routines as well.

Bright Spots:

1. Luke can sleep in the car, in the swing and in his crib without much trouble.

2. We put Luke down before he is totally asleep and let him get the rest of the way on his own.

3. We have a bedtime routine- bath, nursing, swaddle, rock and sing In The Bleak Mid-Winter and some part of the liturgy or a hymn.

Trouble areas:

1. Pacifier- Luke uses his trusty old pacifier. He loves to suck and always has. Though he uses it only minimally during the day, he feels that he NEEDS it at night, especially when being put to bed.

2. Swaddling- From the time he was 3 weeks old, Luke has been swaddled when going down for the night. He seems to be unable to sleep through more than one sleep cycle if his hands are free to flail about. Since modern baby experts say that babies need to be placed on their back to sleep safely, we chose to swaddle. Also, it helped him sleep longer. To wean them from swaddling, you are supposed to let one arm be free and see if they can tolerate that. If they consistently wake themselves up, they are not ready. So far, Luke has not been ready measuring by this standard.

Thoughts:

I know the pacifier use and swaddling cannot go on forever, but for now it is what he likes and what helps him sleep. Reading the sleep book, however, and perhaps a greedy desire to once again sleep for more than 3-4 hours at a time, made me want to cut these things out. I wanted him to be able to soothe himself. So, I decided to rock the boat and let him sleep unswaddled for a couple of nights, and remove the pacifier on occasion.

The result so far is that he does not sleep. He wakes himself up over and over again. Part of me thinks that I just need to be patient, that the teaching him to sleep without these comforts will help him sleep better in the end. The other part of me thinks that he will probably grow out of swaddling at some point, and we can wean the pacifier later (basically- wait, he is only 5 months old).

Trying to wean him from these things now makes me feel good in a way. I can learn patience and he will sleep through the night. He is certainly big enough. :) I can make him into the perfect baby ( boy am I a perfectionist... if I didn't think so before, having Luke sure has pointed that out with an exclamation mark. I hear myself sometimes and cringe).

Trying to wean him from these things and implement a new and improved sleeping plan, in reality, is making me crazy. My day seems to hinge on whether he sleeps or not. I measure my success as a mother on this. I am more irritable, sleep deprived, frustrated with him and with Nathan (why doesn't he get up with Luke? Why does he get to sleep while I slave away. Its not like he anything better to do, like be rested for work in the morning! -oh wait, he does).

Conclusion:

So is it worth it? That is my question. He is only 5 months old, but he is 5 months old. He is not a newborn anymore, but he is still an infant. We are in transition and I want order, clear guidelines. I want a book to tell me what to do. But truly, I know that any parenting book will be limited in its usefulness. Though Luke may share similarities with the whole spectrum of babies, he is is own person with his own unique needs.

Writing all this down helped me process a bit. Maybe I will go take a shower so that I will be somewhat awake for Church this morning. :)

Registry Input?

I have done some registering at Target and Baby's R US, but I was wondering if any experienced mothers have any thoughts on products for baby that they can't live without. I guess I am looking for the non-standard items like crib, clothes, carseat, etc.. Although, if there are particular favorites or recommendations in these areas, please comment. So far, here is my short list of gear that I want to have (not all encompassing):

1. Baby wrap/ sling
2. Arms Reach Co-Sleeper
3. Cloth Diapering System (looking at bummi's covers and pre-fold diapers underneath)
4. Boppy
5. Rocking Chair
6. Breastfeding supplies
7. Jogger stroller

Thanks!

Lenten Ideas

For the Eastern Christian Church, Lent begins very soon. Usually, I would know the kind of fasting and additional spiritual excercises to take on because the Church prescribes a fast and gives some boundaries for an appropriate rule. This year, I am not quite sure what to do. I have asked this question of my priest, but he has given me some guidelines, and not a rule necessarily. I was wondering what other people have found as appropriate rules during the Great Fast for times of life like I am in right now.

Should I go meatless and trust God, or is it more important that I get the nutrients in meat for the baby's sake? Beans and rice are a full protein and the Western Rite fast does not remove dairy products, so I won't have to worry about getting enough calcium. I remember Kelly saying that she would make simple meals, instead of trying to cook something fancy for dinner. Simplifying life is defnitely in the Lenten spirit.

My priest has said not to reduce the quantity of food, as is also the Lenten practice. Is there any other way to get similar spiritual benefits that would come with the quantity reduction?

Also, Fr. recommended giving up something outside of food, such as watching movies or going out to dinner. Any ideas here? Maybe the internet when I am not at work. That is an area that I indulge in.

I certainly plan on doing some spring cleanng this Lenten season, cleaning out the home while cleaning out the heart. Cleaning is so healing and so human. We have a lot of extra things around the house- clothes, dvd's, odds and ends, various appliances that we don't necessarily use. I loved Bethany and Evan's "Two Tunic Day" last year, where they went through their house finding things that they didn't need ( the second tunic) and invited their friends over to pick out what they need. So, if anyone needs anything in particular, I will keep the blog updated.